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KIDS OF CHARACTER 3/30/2009
The Buck Stops Here… Self-Responsibility “The buck stops here!” Harry Truman, our thirty-third U.S. President, made those words famous. As the Commander-In-Chief at the end of World War II, Mr. Truman exemplified self-responsibility leadership. Without self-responsibility, we live in peril. There’s no more important life value. Without it we walk around as a human excuse: It’s not my fault; I couldn’t help it; you make me so mad; no one ever gives me a chance; she’s lucky; he gets all the breaks; I don’t know how; nobody ever told me. These ‘I’m not responsible’ phrases are tip-of-the-iceberg beliefs that destroy our opportunity to lay claim to optimal living. Whether we are fourteen or forty, every time we let one of these phrases slip off our tongue, we spade another shovel-full of dirt from a ditch in which we will someday stand wondering how did I get stuck here? Self-responsibility is learned and earned. There’s no way around it. Fortunately, you don’t need to be a brain surgeon to become a powerhouse of self-responsibility. But, you must be willing to use the mental tool that will change blaming and shaming into choice making and accountability. The tool sounds simple, but it’s hard to practice at first. It’s a great lesson for a character mentor to share with the special kids in their life. The lesson is called self-observation. Think of self-observation as a candid camera. You have seen television’s Candid Camera Show. The camera catches people in the act of doing crazy, odd and funny things. It simply watches. It does not judge or condemn. It just observes. When children learn to practice self-observation, watching their thoughts and actions, they can turn the corner on Blame Street and walk down Self-Responsibility Lane. Character mentors can teach the children they love to carry their self-observing candid camera everywhere. The candid camera will watch, not judge and condemn. The candid camera will help a child stop blaming others. The candid camera catches you in the act of being yourself. It lets you make an important observation: “I don’t need to do that, again.” A child using the skill of self-observation will soon discover self-responsible thoughts and actions taking charge. It is great to know that it is never too late to start using the candid camera of self-observation.
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